Memories of Mangaluru

filter coffee

Anniversaries, those damned things. They serve perfectly to throw a harsh spotlight of how much you have aged, how long your past now is. Ten years since this, twelve since that, twenty this, more that. High school seems so very far away now, because university itself was ten years ago. The eleventh year now, since I first moved out of my home in the hills and went to university four hours away in Mangaluru, née Mangalore.

The city, clad in the cloak of its old name and the ideas of its past (and present) as a trading port that came with its old-world charm, was what we then called a small town trying very hard to be a big city. And never really succeeding. Not then—this was before the malls and Café Coffee Days and Pizza Huts and air-conditioned halls of clothing that began to crop up the year I left that city.

I feel like a subject in those Iran and Kabul photos from the 1970s, where the women in university wore short skirts, smoked cigarettes and hung out with the friends who happened to be boys, those pictures that lamenters of a bygone era juxtapose with burkhas and hijabs and cold streets filled with fear and restriction. I feel like the women in those pictures, and alternatively like these lamenters, when I see what is happening in Mangaluru these days.

I feel like a subject in those Iran and Kabul photos from the 1970s, where the women in university wore short skirts, smoked cigarettes and hung out with the friends who happened to be boys, those pictures that lamenters of a bygone era juxtapose with burkhas and hijabs and cold streets filled with fear and restriction.

The latest is that two men were beaten up for working in the same shop as women of another religion. It goes without saying that the former are Muslims and the latter are Hindus. It is always, always this. It is always Hindus against the Muslims, though sometimes it is the other way around too. For talking to each other, for being in the same classroom as each other, for breathing the same air as each other, for being alive in the same time as each other . . . again and again, it has begun now, this relentless dangerous trip that they seem to be on—what have they been smoking? Shouldn’t it have made them peace-loving and mild and blissful?

Like two aunties sitting back with our men alongside us feigning mild interest, P, a dear old friend of a decade, and I talked about Mangalore the other day. Her native place, as they say, for me, the town I grew free and me in. We talked of the senior who used to sneak into the hostel late in the night after a party at the pub, a mild place with bad music that served alcohol and was not grand enough to be called a pub.

The privately-owned buses that plied between the city and the university had gaudy lights and were painted in bright red and fuchsia. They all drove like bats out of a deep dank hell. You could set your watches by the time they kept, for so fierce was the competition and the time allotted to each company to ensure fairness. The drivers—pilots, they sometimes called themselves—were young and brash and wore cheap perfume and acted powerful. Short affairs sprouted often enough between them and girls who were regular passengers.

It is always, always this. It is always Hindus against the Muslims, though sometimes it is the other way around too. For talking to each other, for being in the same classroom as each other, for breathing the same air as each other, for being alive in the same time as each other

The whole route to the city was strewn with colleges of various statures, degree and cool levels. Some of these girls were Muslim and were clad in burkhas, tightly cinched at the waists, their kohl-darkened eyes beautiful, enchanting and seductive. The affairs, I am told, were mostly conducted through these kohl-ed eyes and the eye contact the driver held in the rear-view mirror. Like some innocent love story in a village from a time long past, the eyes spoke, apparently.

Liberal as we were, with more easy access to boys and the freedom we had—have—taken for granted, P and I had laughed then. We laughed now too, recollecting these stories. We told ourselves it was a reluctant laughter, as if with that carefree, harmless judgement of these futile romances, we could ignore the threat something like this would pose today. The driver would be chopped down in broad daylight, if not beaten beyond recognition. The girl would be married off within the month.

 

We found ourselves remembering old stories, as it often happens when old friends meet. We also found ourselves commenting on how the stories we knew to be innocent and befitting of the young and foolish age we were would be seen in these raging times. We felt like old wives talking yet again of our times when times were good and people were kind.

Strip away all the complicated politics and nuances and power games that go on here and explain to me why we hate and why we hate so much people that look, talk, eat, act, copulate, live and die like us.

Can we ask ourselves some innocent questions please? Call me naïve; I won’t mind. Strip away all the complicated politics and nuances and power games that go on here and explain to me why we hate and why we hate so much people that look, talk, eat, act, copulate, live and die like us. Such an unanswerable question, isn’t it? Because once you strip away all that makes these questions so much more than what they are in plain words, the question becomes irrelevant too.

It seems like such a simple thing, this whole caste and religion thing. It is all really about respect and that live-and-let-live policy we learnt about in school. All this fundamentalism, this utter, utter stupidity, foolishness that is so juvenile, yet the most dangerous, because it comes not with logic or thought.

Such pointless things we say to while away the time. Like how things were not the way they are now. Like how the Muslims in our friend circles were just friends, not ‘Muslim’, that their names were just the words we called them by, not a marker for which god they believed in. Like how, in just a decade or less, the city we happily walked about in is a city we no longer recognise. Not merely for the glitzy shopping arenas it sprouts. Not for the indie bookstore, beloved, much frequented, that has now closed. Not for the veneer of modernity that is the Midas touch for most of its lanes and people. Not for any of the things inevitable in everyone’s sprint to happy consumerism. And that is why P and I don an auntie’s demeanour and join the lamenters.

Our lament is not for the innocence lost. It is for the regression that is walking alongside the outward markers of modernity—the malls and such like—that is turning a town pretending to be a city into a village.

For it is not for the innocence lost. We aren’t the innocents we were either. It is for the regression that is walking alongside the outward markers of modernity—the malls and such like—that is turning a town pretending to be a city into a village where power and fanaticism, religion and state all mesh together to weave a web so entangled that one can only hope it won’t trap the spider itself.

For hope, hope is all there is, however bleak and futile.

​Deepa Bhasthi ​was recently introduced to someone as a hippie. In other descriptions, she has been a journalist​, translator​​ and worked in the development sector briefly. ​She is now a full time writer living and working in Bengaluru. ​Her works have appeared in several publications including Himal Southasian, Indian Quarterly, The New Indian Express, OPEN magazine, The Hindu Business Line's BLInk, The Hindu, Art India and elsewhere on the web. ​She is the editor of The Forager magazine, an online quarterly journal of food politics, available at www.theforagermagazine.com​ Through her column 'Filter Coffee', she will take you through the states that lie below the mighty Vindhyas; tell stories from that land, of those people. This column will carry features, interviews, commentary, travelogues and much more, everything infused with a healthy dose of South Indian flavour.

48 Comments

  • Reply December 20, 2025

    Wunderino Casino Bewertung

    Zudem könnten die Bonusbedingungen ein wenig spielerfreundlicher sein.
    Da es sich um ein Online Casino ohne OASIS handelt,
    kannst du auch mit einer GGL-Sperre spielen. Mitunter sind auch Freiwetten und andere Wettboni verfügbar.
    Es ist ein perfekter Weg, um das Engagement aufrechtzuerhalten und die Verluste in Ihrer Sportwetten-Strategie zu minimieren. Egal,
    ob Sie Live Blackjack, Roulette oder andere Live-Dealer-Spiele genießen,
    dieses Cashback-Angebot bietet ein hervorragendes
    Sicherheitsnetz.
    Crownplay bietet 24/7 mehrsprachigen Support, großzügige Cashback-Angebote, Turniere und maßgeschneiderte Angebote
    für deutsche Spieler. Crownplay ist eine Online-Casino-Plattform, die eine breite Palette von Spielen wie Spielautomaten, Tischspiele und Live-Dealer-Erlebnisse bietet.
    Genießen Sie großzügige Einzahlungsboni,
    exklusive Cashback-Angebote sowie den Nervenkitzel von Freispielen und Sonderaktionen. Crownplay bietet rund um die Uhr mehrsprachigen Support,
    großzügige Cashback-Optionen, Turniere und maßgeschneiderte Angebote für deutsche Spieler.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/umfassende-bewertung-von-playfina-casino-deutschland-fur-spieler/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    elite gambling UK

    Perhaps I am of median height, but one should always try a car out for size.
    The “regular car feel” continues with the conventional dashboard layout, as opposed to
    the MPV-style central meter position of the old Alza.
    So, we’ve established that the Alza is a great family car, but you – the driver – are not forgotten.
    We have produced a video review of the Alza 2022 if you prefer watching a video to reading
    text – it’s over 49 minutes long but
    it’s very detailed. You can read our comprehensive coverage on the Perodua Alza 2022 to help you discover if the Alza is a suitable choice for your next car purchase.
    We have done some analysis on how much it costs to maintain the
    Perodua Alza 2022 compared to other cars. In terms of child passenger safety, the Alza comes with 2 sets of ISOFIX points to mount child seats on the
    middle row outer two seats.
    Compare prices between different insurer providers to save
    the most on your car insurance renewal compared to other competing services.
    The latter is especially true given the global semiconductor shortage, which is resulting in long waiting times for cars throughout
    the automotive industry. Currently, neither of the national carmakers, Proton and Perodua, offer Apple CarPlay and Android
    Auto connectivity in their cars. The still-popular D46T received a stay of execution in January but should now
    be out of production, leaving the national carmaker without
    an entry in the MPV segment.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/uk-online-casinos-with-big-time-gaming-and-megaways-slots/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    casino dress code

    With a succession of diverse culinary stations, each delivering a distinct and distinctive
    eating experience, enjoy an excellent assortment of international cuisine.
    What definitely sets Southbank apart from other places in Melbourne is that it houses one of the world’s largest casinos and resort, the
    Crown Casino Melbourne. Management reserves the right
    to apply their discretion at all times.
    With all-you-can-eat options available, you can indulge in as much as you like without breaking
    the bank. One of the standout features of Crown Melbourne’s buffets
    is the live cooking stations, where you can watch as your food is prepared
    right in front of you. From fresh seafood to succulent
    roasts and decadent desserts, there’s something to satisfy every taste
    bud. Savour flavours of tradition from around the world
    at The Conservatory, a hub that boasts a tantalising array of classic dishes.
    With an elegant breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffet selection, you are spoiled for choice whether you feel like a decked
    out seafood platter or a high tea evening.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/bunny96-casino-in-australia-real-money-pokies-action/

  • Reply February 9, 2026

    fdertol mrtokev

    hello!,I like your writing very much! share we communicate more about your post on AOL? I need a specialist on this area to solve my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to see you.

  • Reply February 15, 2026

    cat browser apk

    whoah this blog is magnificent i love reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You know, lots of people are searching around for this information, you can help them greatly.

  • Reply February 17, 2026

    togel 4d

    obviously like your website however you have to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality nevertheless I will certainly come back again.

  • Reply February 17, 2026

    slot min depo 5k

    Some truly nice stuff on this internet site, I enjoy it.

  • Reply February 19, 2026

    gelatin trick

    Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your website is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect web-site.

  • Reply February 19, 2026

    harga toto

    Hi my family member! I want to say that this post is awesome, great written and come with almost all significant infos. I would like to peer extra posts like this .

  • Reply February 20, 2026

    gelatin trick

    I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You are wonderful! Thanks!

  • Reply February 20, 2026

    gelatin trick

    I have recently started a blog, the information you provide on this website has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work. “The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” by Joe Theismann.

  • Reply February 21, 2026

    gelatin trick

    I believe this website has some really fantastic information for everyone :D. “The ground that a good man treads is hallowed.” by Johann von Goethe.

  • Reply February 23, 2026

    kursi kuliah

    I’m so happy to read this. This is the type of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.

  • Whats Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & help different customers like its aided me. Great job.

  • Reply February 23, 2026

    orange peel trick recipe

    I am glad to be a visitant of this unadulterated weblog! , regards for this rare information! .

  • Reply February 23, 2026

    pcxwin

    Hello. excellent job. I did not expect this. This is a great story. Thanks!

  • Reply February 24, 2026

    gelatin trick recipe

    Lovely site! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am taking your feeds also.

  • Reply February 24, 2026

    gelatin trick

    Together with almost everything that appears to be building throughout this particular subject material, many of your points of view are actually relatively stimulating. However, I appologize, because I can not give credence to your whole strategy, all be it radical none the less. It seems to everybody that your opinions are actually not totally rationalized and in actuality you are generally yourself not really entirely certain of the argument. In any case I did take pleasure in examining it.

  • Reply February 24, 2026

    seltoto login

    I’m really loving the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A few of my blog visitors have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?

  • Reply February 24, 2026

    situs slot777

    There is apparently a bunch to know about this. I assume you made some good points in features also.

  • Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also high quality. Have a fun.

  • Reply February 26, 2026

    situs toto

    I’ve recently started a blog, the info you provide on this web site has helped me greatly. Thank you for all of your time & work.

  • Reply February 26, 2026

    schwimmbecken komplettset

    Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful info being shared freely out there.

  • Reply February 26, 2026

    link slot 1000

    Some really interesting information, well written and generally user genial.

  • Reply February 26, 2026

    alojamiento en navarra

    Hello would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m going to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  • Reply February 26, 2026

    ayuda PFG arquitectura

    I respect your piece of work, regards for all the informative articles.

  • Reply February 27, 2026

    schwimmbadfolien set

    An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!

  • Reply February 27, 2026

    boostaro

    Precisely what I was searching for, appreciate it for posting.

  • Reply February 27, 2026

    situs slot

    I like this post, enjoyed this one appreciate it for posting. “What is a thousand years Time is short for one who thinks, endless for one who yearns.” by Alain.

  • Reply February 27, 2026

    omaslot

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thank you

  • Reply February 27, 2026

    gelatin trick recipe

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    Frosted Brands

    This is the correct weblog for anybody who needs to seek out out about this topic. You notice a lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I truly would need…HaHa). You undoubtedly put a brand new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    daftar fren88

    Somebody essentially assist to make significantly articles I might state. That is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the analysis you made to make this particular put up extraordinary. Great activity!

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    Mixed Cannabinoid Gummies

    Hello my family member! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and come with approximately all important infos. I would like to see more posts like this.

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    susterslot

    Loving the information on this website , you have done great job on the articles.

  • Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? Thanks

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    jasa basmi rayap bandung

    This blog is definitely rather handy since I’m at the moment creating an internet floral website – although I am only starting out therefore it’s really fairly small, nothing like this site. Can link to a few of the posts here as they are quite. Thanks much. Zoey Olsen

  • Reply February 28, 2026

    iblbet login

    The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, however I actually thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you happen to werent too busy in search of attention.

  • Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve have in mind your stuff previous to and you’re just too wonderful. I actually like what you’ve obtained right here, certainly like what you’re saying and the best way wherein you are saying it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to stay it sensible. I can’t wait to read far more from you. That is really a tremendous web site.

  • Reply March 1, 2026

    streamate ebony

    I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thanks, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site?

  • Reply March 1, 2026

    streamate app

    Attractive portion of content. I simply stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your augment or even I success you get right of entry to consistently fast.

  • Reply March 1, 2026

    akongcuan slot

    Very interesting points you have remarked, appreciate it for posting.

  • Reply March 3, 2026

    pink gelatin trick

    Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually know what you’re talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my web site =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!

  • Reply March 4, 2026

    prodentim

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.

  • Some really interesting info , well written and loosely user pleasant.

  • Reply March 4, 2026

    dubai wealth secret

    I envy your piece of work, regards for all the great posts.

  • Reply March 5, 2026

    eva bloom

    Whats Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist other users like its aided me. Good job.

  • Reply March 5, 2026

    prodentim review

    Wow, awesome weblog format! How long have you ever been running a blog for? you made blogging look easy. The total look of your site is wonderful, as smartly as the content material!

Leave a Reply