Figments of a Dirty imagination

Vidya…Vidya… and Vidya! There are 2 worlds. One before boombaat Silky Vidya and the one now…! Between the rave reviews that keep pouring in and the awards that will come a month later, here’s a bit of ogling at the crystal ball (Gosh! Even that’s Herculean because all I get to see are Silk’s two lovely…but no let me concentrate!!) :

Ah! Finally the first vision!

Mahesh Bhatt is scratching his pate and scratching it more and staring intently at The Dirty Picture’s poster. And then a frantic call to Rakhi Sawant. Yes the idea is finally locked in. A biopic on India’s most famous reality TV star Rakhi Sawant with her in a guest appearance and Emraan Hashmi as the plastic surgeon! And no…after the disaster called Tusshar Ramakant Kapoor in DP, there’s no Rahul Bhatt in the Sawant biopic as Bhatt does not want to commit the cardinal error that Ekta Kapoor committed- to sign your blood for your production even when you know that he is only wood! Last heard Rahul is sulking in Gold’s gym…the packs might just work for Murder 3! Also Rakhi’s ex Abhishek Awasthi has been paid a few thousands to file a defamation suit once the film releases to allege that the film has no resemblance to Rakhi’s life! And Pritam is feverishly downloading songs from some Dodoland and planning to mix it with the soundtrack from some of his early films as well as embellish the score with some Sufi strains!

The second vision!

Ekta is bored with sex…err sex in films! So the next stop is mythology or religion (choose your pick). And so a film on Maa Sherawali and yes Vidya has been signed on again and after seeing Bigg Boss, Ekta thinks Sky aka Akashdeep Saigal can growl best, so he will play the lion! Also this way no PETA activists at Balaji Films’ door. But…but…how can Silk be Sherawali? So Raj Thackeray patches up with Udhav and after a gala family dinner, packs off a herd to fling stones at Ekta’s residence. Last seen, Ekta called Bala sa’ab promising him to screen the film for him before any premiere party. After matters settle down a little, Ekta is planning to take the cast to Qatar and shoot the film under the working title ‘The White Picture’.

Third vision!

Madhur has stalled the shooting of ‘Heroine’ yet again and this time the reason is Kareena has not officially stated in the contract that she would marry Saif before the film releases and even if she did, she would not invite him in the family meetings on the wedding preparations! Grapevine has it Balan is adjusting her dates with the Qatar schedule and of course Rampal doesn’t need to adjust dates!

Fourth vision:

That’s just between me and Silk!

Now buzz off!

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