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His heart, tinted faintly red, beats and beats and trembles under my right hand. His vaporous voice has told me, many times, about all my pasts, each of my histories.
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My name was once Mary Magdalene. It was in front of me that Christ was crucified, and before me he lived again, suddenly, strangely. I declared the resurrection. It was me who had whispered the question into his ears: Is God a woman? Many centuries later, in another life, I would bow down in front of my own skull, preserved in a basilica in a small town somewhere in France.
Once, I was finally to die and be forgotten but while travelling in the desert hills of Missiminia, I saw a man, who kissed his cup of black tea as if each sip was the memory of a woman whose lips he had never tasted. And I wept and wept. At midnight, haunted by that image, I’d looked at the pale moon and had said:
Some men say an army of horse and some men say an army on foot
and some men say an army of ships is the most beautiful thing
on the black earth. But I say it is
what you love.
Mirza Ghalib had written that he wouldn’t have minded death if it was only once. But, immortality? Isn’t it the same as death? Which soul can bear it repeatedly?
Someone must have noted it down, for I remained forever, again, on this earth. Mirza Ghalib had written that he wouldn’t have minded death if it was only once. But, immortality? Isn’t it the same as death? Which soul can bear it repeatedly?
What will happen to this life, my last, and so my last chance to be forgotten? Will I finally be able to break the curse of an endless life? Someone, after looking at my small hands, has predicted my age: 1100 years.
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