Qafe and the Qafeteer

Queer. The dictionary defines the term as ‘funny’, ‘surprising’, ‘odd’, ‘perplexing’ and so on. In a nutshell, something that is out of the ordinary and therefore difficult to understand and/or accept. This term has been used with reference to this author for many years now; since much before the term  would acquire a different, but specific, meaning in the global discourse on sexuality rights. It is because of this long association with the term ‘queer’ that I have a special affinity with it, and through that – for the letter ‘q’.

‘Q’ is a funny later, indeed. It is difficult to understand why the English alphabet needs this letter at all, when there is ‘k’ and ‘c’ and ‘ch’ for the sound with which ‘kin’, ‘crow’ or ‘chemistry’ begin. In Urdu, of course, the specific sounds of ‘ka’ in ‘kash’ and ‘qa’ in ‘Qadir’ are different, with the second one coming from deeper inside the throat – but one is not aware of any such distinction between the ‘ku’ of ‘kudos’ and the ‘qu’ of ‘queer’. But, ‘q’ does exist as a letter in the English alphabet, albeit with the restriction of being unusable without the vowel ‘u’ accompanying it.

That captures the essence of ‘q’, of ‘queer’. It exists, but unable to deal with that existence – terms of control are set. In my childhood and adolescence – I was termed ‘queer’ because to my friends, family and teachers alike, I presented the perfect coexistence of two apparently non-compatible characteristics: I was a ‘good’ girl as far as studies were concerned; but I was utterly ‘bad’ in everything else. A naughty tomboy bending gender norms left, right and centre; an unruly student; a disobedient daughter; a difficult-to-tolerate classmate since the whole class would get punished due to my antics. But then, ‘there must have been something good / in my youth and wicked childhood’ – as July Andrews as Maria sang in the iconic The Sound of Music. My parents did not throw me out or send me to a convent school away from home to be disciplined by kind but utterly regimented nuns. My friends never deserted me despite my driving them up the wall half the time.

And, as for my teachers – I was plain lucky to spend my teenage, believed to be the most critically formative phase of one’s life, in a school with Mrs Rama Chakraborty as the Headmistress: an Oxonian economist who had returned to Kolkata to build up girls with an analytical, independent and assertive mindset able to make informed choices in life[1] by serving in a newly established government-aided girls’ school. Groomed by teachers guided by her, I had just the right share of punishment and appreciation, reprimands and affection that helped me build my self-confidence without losing touch with reality. But through it all, I also learnt to accept that I was kind of odd in many things I did.

This same ‘queerness’ followed me to college through much of my youth before my vocabulary would be informed enough to understand and adopt another meaning of queer which has to do with gender identities and sexual orientations. Subjects considered taboo for open discussion till HIV went viral (pun definitely intended) and kind of forced India to be shaken out of its pre-Freudian stance on sexuality and allow these terms to enter first the domain of public health, and gradually permeate down to coffee table conversations – despite much reluctance and resistance that continue till date. Strange, one would suppose, in a country that had produced as graphic a text on sexuality as Kamasutra in proto-historic times and have no dearth of openly erotic literature and sculptures through ages[2].  Or, should I say ‘queer’?

My friends in college called me queer since my sole interest in joining the prestigious Presidency College of Calcutta (it was Kolkata when mentioned in Bengali, but that hadn’t yet been made the official name for all languages) was to become a Naxalite, at a time when the first phase of the movement had been ruthlessly and successfully crushed and the country was in the shackles of emergency, a political gamble that would unseat Mrs Indira Gandhi two years later in 1977. Newspaper reports combined with the involvement of a close relative had convinced me that one had to join Presidency College to become a Naxalite. So, I went on hunger strike after tearing to pieces the admission forms of Lady Brabourne College and Jadavpur University that my mother had collected for me. She was justifiably loathe to allow me to join the college which had led her academically brilliant middle brother to stray away from academics into revolutionary politics; but I won in the end – as always in my battles with her. (It took me years to realise that my victory had more to do with her affection and concern for me, than my exasperating obstinacy. Many heartburns and bitter failures later I realised that no battle can be won through stubbornness alone.)

It was my experience with radical left-wing political activism that would sharpen my understanding of patriarchy; of Puritanism; of the ‘queer’ hand-in-glove relationship that ideas of ‘revolution’ shared with extremely right-wing practices where gender roles were concerned. A sixty-year old French woman I had met in a coffee shop would be my first teacher of issues of non-hetero-normative sexuality. She had been ousted from the French Communist party on charges of being a lesbian way back in the early seventies. I began understanding how important a tool of oppression gender is, along with economic class. I learnt to comprehend the role patriarchal gender stereotyping plays in enforcing hetero-normativity, thereby ostracising an entire genre of people whose sexual preference is same-sex oriented. The Marxist Theory of Alienation became multi-dimensional in my perception as different forms of social exclusion became articulated in my mind: capitalism; racism; caste-based politics in the Indian context; patriarchy, gender inequality and hetero-normativity; religious and linguistic fundamentalism . . . all of these crystallised in my understanding as different forms of exclusion and exploitation. Social change became redefined as a move towards inclusive justice, rather than just the supremacy of the Proletariat and my activism took a completely different turn.

It was this last milestone that would finally get me to accept myself as queer from the gender-sexuality perspective; learn to identify myself as a bisexual gender-fluid woman involved in queer activism. But then, that is only one of my many identities and only one aspect of my life. I – like all others – am a human being fortunate enough to traverse multiple worlds and live with myriad identities. I am a feminist in my own understanding – though I hold positions that make me a complete pariah within the purview of hard-core feminism. Much of my professional work experience has been in the child rights sector. I’m a confused-but-not-ready-to-give-up single mother forever trying to find the concrete, everyday applications of the chimerical notion of positive disciplining and so on and so forth.

It is undeniable that from many parameters, I’ve made a mess of my life. My elderly mother continues to feel concerned about my ‘bohemian’ lifestyle and I do feel sad that I’ve hardly ever done anything she wanted me to – though, I would not be able to live the life I have without her support in raising my daughter. My father continued to worry about the lack of stability in my life and I’d never know if that had precipitated the cerebral stroke that took him from us. I have done many things, but hardly have any successes to showcase – a clear marker of indiscipline and inconsistency. I am in doubt always, even about myself. ‘Doubt everything’ – as Karl Marx has written[3]. But that doubt also helps me believe in the need to keep alive the voice of dissent – about anything and everything.

‘Qafe’ introduces itself as a new fortnightly column that would devote itself to questioning, debating, problematising the given, the accepted, the normative, the rule. Qafe, since much of my thinking gets articulated over steaming cups of black coffee. With a ‘q’ rather than the normal ‘c’ because this space looks at itself as one that would exist with or without any specific ‘need’ for its existence; also because it would seek to challenge the imposed restriction of the inevitably accompanying ‘u’. I would be the Qafeteer – the qaffeine-dispensing racketeer, that is, forever in contra position challenging the prescribed mores of life. Welcome to Qafe, dear readers.

 



[1] Or words to that effect she would say so often during our end-of-school assembly.

[2] I do not, by any long shot, mean to suggest that the Kamasutra is not heavily patriarchal, or that we have a glorious gender-just past. The only point I want to make is that the taboo on matters erotic and sexual has not been the norm always.

[3] The Ethnological Notebooks of Karl Marx (studies in Morgan, Phear, Maine, Lubbock): transcribed and edited with an introduction by Lawrence Krader; second edition, 1974; Van Gorcum & Comp. B.V. – Assen, The Netherlands

Paramita Banerjee works as an independent consultant in the sphere of child protection and gender justice. Her expertise lies in research, training, evaluation and community mobilisation. This black-coffee drinking queer activist dreams of wielding the pen to ruffle the feathers of status-quo-ist survival.

8 Comments

  • James Bond hat seine Lizenz zum Töten erst kürzlich erhalten und
    ist ein genialer Kartenspieler, doch mit ihm geht der
    Geheimdienst auch ein Risiko ein, da er für seine Hitzeköpfigkeit bekannt
    ist. Der Plan von M16 ist es nämlich, ihn nach dem Turnier endgültig festzunehmen, damit er nicht mehr mit Touristen in Kontakt kommen kann.
    Dort sind die Millionen Dollar Einsätze so hoch wie an den No Limit Tischen im Bitcoin Casino,
    dass Le Chiffre mit Leichtigkeit das verzockte Geld zurück
    gewinnen könnte. Die Hauptdarsteller waren Daniel Craig,
    der James Bond gespielt hat, Eva Green, die Vesper Lynd verkörpert hat und schließlich
    noch Mads Mikkelsen, der in der Rolle von Le Chiffre steckte.
    James Bond Casino Royale ist heute auf Platz 474 in den täglichen JustWatch Streaming-Charts.

    Beim Poker mit dem Bösewicht „Le Chiffre“ verliert Bond sein gesamtes vom MI6 bereitgestelltes Bargeld.
    So ist Leiter beispielsweise im Roman Der Mann mit dem goldenen Colt dabei, in der Verfilmung jedoch
    nicht. Die von Ralph Fiennes’ gespielte Version der Figur heißt mit Nachnamen Mallory.

    Dabei hat sich der Autorenfilmer nie einem großen Franchise gewidmet – auch wenn lange Zeit
    ein „Star Trek“-Projekt von Quentin Tarantino im
    Raum stand. Eine weitere Nominierung für den Golden Globe Award erhielt
    er im Jahr 2024 für seine Hauptrolle in dem Historiendrama Queer nach dem gleichnamigen halbautobiografischen Roman von William S.

    Burroughs. Im September 2018 wurde bekannt, dass er die Hauptrolle im von Rian Johnson inszenierten Krimi-Film
    Knives Out – Mord ist Familiensache übernimmt.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/ihr-leitfaden-zum-bingbong-casino-aktionscode-und-mehr/

  • Minderjährige dürfen unter keinen Umständen in diesem Online Casino
    spielen. Im Zodiac Casino können nur Personen spielen, die älter als 19
    Jahre sind bzw. Spielen Sie Online Casinospiele, wo es sich wirklich lohnt.

    „Flüchtling gewinnt Jackpot mit Freispielen“ und anderer kompletter Unsinn plus illegale Online Casino Werbung auf Google.de – habt ihr das wirklich nötig?
    Casino.guru sieht sich als eine unabhängige Informationsplattform über Online Casinos und Online Casinospiele,
    die von keinem Glücksspielanbieter oder irgendeiner anderen Instanz kontrolliert wird.
    Das Casino erklärte, die Sperre sei auf verschiedene Faktoren im Zusammenhang
    mit ihrem Spielverhalten zurückzuführen und versicherte ihr,
    dass die Punkte nach Aufhebung der Sperre einlösbar seien. Bei uns
    spielen Sie mit der höchsten Gewinnrate und dem Wissen,
    dass Ihrem Erfolg ein vierteljahrhundert erfahrung zugrundeliegt.
    Besonders interessiere ich mich für Kartenspiele wie Baccarat und Poker, bei denen Taktik
    und Berechnung eine entscheidende Rolle spielen. Das Zodiac Casino bietet Spielern eine hervorragende mobile Erfahrung, die es ihnen ermöglicht, ihre Lieblingsspiele jederzeit
    und überall zu genießen.

    References:
    https://online-spielhallen.de/ihr-ultimativer-leitfaden-zum-buran-casino-aktionscode-und-mehr/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    how to gamble online

    This Plinko TikTok trend is not just entertaining but also educational, as many creators
    share tips, strategies, and insights into the game.
    In this segment, contestants drop chips down a large pegboard, aiming
    for high-value slots at the bottom. Plinko became a household name through “The Price is Right,” one of
    America’s most beloved game shows.
    Whether played physically or virtually, Plinko casino remains a symbol of
    sheer luck and excitement. The game involves dropping a disk into a pegged board,
    where it bounces unpredictably until landing in a
    scoring slot at the bottom. The fundamental objective in Plinko is straightforward
    – drop the disk and hope it lands in a profitable slot.

    I like that in the slot cool graphics and very realistic physics of the falling ball.
    I got cool emotions when I increased my bet many times over.

    Player2 couldn’t believe their eyes when a casual evening
    gaming session resulted in a $43,500 windfall. ✨ The satisfying
    sound of the puck dropping through the pegs has become the soundtrack to success for many of our most celebrated winners.
    Pretty fair compared to many games, right? Your choice of pin density and betting
    style can influence this experience significantly in Plinko.
    The 98% RTP of Plinko casino is quite generous in the gambling
    world, but remember – Lady Luck doesn’t care about statistics during your
    two-hour gaming session! Anything can happen – that’s the thrill
    of the game!

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/canasta-poker-rules-and-variations/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    new casino sites australia

    The actual deposit methods are based on your country or state.
    Banking options may be offered by PlayCroco Online Casino,
    but that doesn’t make them possible for every player.
    The different options and deposit limits are as follows. If
    the laws in your country are 21, you have to be
    21 before you play at PlayCroco Online Casino. Make sure you read the casino rules
    prior to registering.
    The chat support is the recommended way to reach out to a
    PlayCroco Casino representative with questions, concerns, or just to
    say “hi.” Most deposit methods require a minimum deposit of
    $20, but Bitcoin and Neosurf drop that limit to that to $10.
    You get casino coupon codes to use each day with most of the loyalty levels.
    You should also check text messages from the casino.

    Getting started at Play Croco involves creating an account.
    Just make a deposit and reach out via live chat to activate it.
    Players can benefit from a cashback offer that credits a percentage of their
    initial reload back to their account over time. Moreover, there’s cashback and
    daily special offers. The promotional arena at Play Croco offers four excellent
    choices.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/internet-casino-gambling-all-that-you-should-know/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    Neospin Casino AU

    First of all, you do not need to deposit huge sums in the very beginning, or make large bets.
    Even though each casino designs its registration process
    to be unique, there are still some basic steps that are consistent
    in every casino you visit. As digital tokens are gaining more traction,
    these crypto sites are also getting more popular. However, the new trend is to create a mobile app
    that users can install on their phones to access the casino easily.

    It’s a good tactic to keep your finances in check!

    It’s a way to slow yourself down and not go too crazy when wagering on games.
    To save even more time, start with testing out our number one offer ⁠— National
    Casino. Finding just any offer is an easy task, but discovering one that’s good and offers quality conditions is a challenge that we have already tackled here on Casinority.

    No deposit offers are some of the best kinds of bonuses provided by online casino
    sites that allow players to try out casino
    games without spending any money. These TOP 5 online casinos
    for real money happen to be loaded with awesome bonuses, and of course – Bitcoin banking is made quick and easy on each one of those sites.
    The online casinos that accept PayPal offer a mixed bag of games, thereby ensuring that different types of players have options catering to their
    unique tastes. Casino bonuses are awesome,
    but most Australian online casinos minimum deposit will give you offers that
    are much more shy compared to other casinos. If you play on live dealer online casino
    Australia for real money, it’s important that you check the banking
    options first.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/popular-variations-of-casino-slots-game-rules-and-descriptions/

  • Reply December 27, 2025

    profitable casino tips

    Bellagio offers both self-parking and valet parking options
    for visitors and hotel guests inside the premises.

    The Bellagio station is located at the hotel’s north entrance.
    Apart from the 1,800-seat theater, the complex is famous for hosting several Michelin star restaurants and the popular ‘Fountains of Bellagio’.
    The resort was built by renowned business
    Steve Wynn to resemble the elegance and luxury of the quaint Italian village.
    It boasts a seasonal outdoor pool, casino, nightclub and restaurant.
    Located on the Las Vegas Strip, this boutique hotel features Parisian-inspired design.
    Chef Julian Serrano has curated a menu of artful dishes designed to be shared.

    Lago is a modern restaurant with small dishes that place an American twist on Italian classics.
    Dining at any one of Bellagio Hotel Vegas’s award-winning restaurants is
    a unique experience. Though it’s open later on the weekends, this American restaurant specializes in classic breakfast favorites like omelets and french toast.

    Pearl Tier members are given a dedicated Line at Participating Buffets, a 10% Bonus on Points Earned Playing
    Slots, and complimentary concert tickets. Bellagio Hotel & Casino
    Resort guests automatically achieve Sapphire Tier status when they sign up for a Players Card.
    Typically, a player has 30 days to pay off a marker, although casinos prefer you settle up before check-out.
    If approved, the casino gives you a marker that can be traded to the dealer
    for chips. Most large casinos, including the
    one at Bellagio Hotel & Casino Resort, allow players
    to apply for a line of credit. Charge everything to your room and
    before checkout, go to the rewards desk and ask to speak
    to a casino host.

    References:
    https://blackcoin.co/crypto-casino-roostake-com/

  • Reply December 30, 2025

    teacircle.co.in

    online betting with paypal winnersbet

    References:
    teacircle.co.in

  • Reply December 30, 2025

    rsh-recruitment.nl

    mobile casino paypal

    References:
    rsh-recruitment.nl

Leave a Reply