स्क्रिप्ट यों शुरू होती है…. गुजरात के मेहसाणा का बड़नगर. यहां एक लबालब भरा तालाब. इस तालाब के बीच एक मंदिर. मंदिर पानी में जलमग्न. उसका शिखर पानी से बाहर. शिखर पर पुराना झंडा. इस झंडे को बदलना था क्योंकि पुराना हो गया था. पर बदलने का साहस किसी में नहीं था क्योंकि इस लबालब भरे तालाब में मगरमच्छ थे. गांव का एक भी आदमी इस काम को करने के लिए आगे नहीं आया. पर एक 12 वर्ष के बच्चे ने ऐसा ठान लिया कि मंदिर का झंडा बदलना है. झंडा लिया और पानी में गोता मारा. मगरमच्छ ने हमला किया. बालक ने इस भीमकाय मगरमच्छ का निहत्थे ही मुक़ाबला किया. उसे मार दिया. मगरमच्छ हार गया और बालक जीत गया. बालक ने जाकर मंदिर के शीर्ष का झंडा बदल दिया. यह बालक और कोई नहीं, नरेंद्र दामोदरभाई मोदी था. भई वाह.
लाल बहादुर शास्त्री नदी तैरकर पार करते थे और स्कूल जाते थे, ये बालक तालाब तैरकर जाता था, मगरमच्छ मारता था और झंडे लगाता था. मतलब बचपन से ही ऐसा था. मुझे लगा आरएसएस का हाथ होगा. न, न. संघ से पहले ही यह भरत जैसा पराक्रमी और मोगली जैसा चपल था.
इस स्क्रिप्ट को टीवी पर परोसा गया बाढ़ के डूबे एक मंदिर की मदद से, नेशनल जियोग्राफिक चैनल के मगरमच्छों की मदद से. गोताखोर बच्चे की मदद से जो मगरमच्छ से लड़ रहा है, उसे मार रहा है. स्क्रिप्ट में आगे एक स्मैकी टाइप साधु से कुंडली बंचवाती मां है. चाय की दुकान है. किचन में मां से हठ करता एक किशोर है. सबकुछ फुल फ़र्जी. सबसे ज़्यादा कष्टप्रद था इस पूरी कथा का मंगलाचरण. धंधे में जब अंधे होकर काम करना नियति बन जाए तो गोबर को गणेश और गौरा को गोबर बनाने में वक्त कहां लगता है. मंगलाचरण में केदारनाथ अग्रवाल जी की कविता गूंजती सुनाई दी.- मैंने उसको जब जब देखा, लोहा देखा. लोहे जैसा चलता देखा. किसी भी प्रगतिशील धारा के कवि का इससे ज़्यादा अपमान और क्या होगा कि उसकी कविता को मोदी के स्तुतिगान और वीरगाथाकालीन शैली में चारणों, भाटों की तरह लिखी गई पटकथा का प्रक्कथन बना दिया जाए. केदार बाबू जीते होते तो सोंटा लेकर चैनल के दरवाज़े पहुंच जाते.
अचानक से लगा कि चैनलों को न देखने के अपने संकल्प से हटना कितना हानिकारक हो सकता है. घबराकर टीवी बंद कर दिया. सोचने लगा कि इस बारह साल के बच्चे से पहले उस मंदिर पर झंडा किसने लगाया था. उसी को बुला लेते भाई. या मंदिर भी 12 वर्ष पुराना था. तैरना तो बालक ने हाल फिलहाल सीखा होगा. उससे पहले कौन तैरकर जाता था. अगर नहीं गया तो झंडा कहाँ से लग गया. मगरमच्छों वाला तालाब था तो ज़रूर बड़ा रहा होगा. कोई अचानक उफना आई तलैय्या तो होगी नहीं. इस मंदिर के डूबने की दारुण कथा के इर्द गिर्द न तो मल्लाह हैं और न ही मछुआरे. नाव के बिना सूना पड़ा है गांव का विशाल तालाब. अररेरेरे…. रुको रुको. स्क्रिप्ट में यह तो छूट ही गया कि इस बच्चे ने एक बार जंगल में जाकर शेरों के दांत गिने थे. अजगर को चीरकर रख दिया था. गड्ढे में गिरे हाथी को बाहर निकाल लिया था. नेकर क जेब में सांप रखकर धूमता था. एक बार ज़हर पी गया था लेकिन कुछ नहीं हुआ था. लैंपपोस्ट के नीचे बैठकर पढ़ता था और जिस पत्थर को छू देता था, वो पानी में तैरने लगता था. हद होती है यार.
“लाल बहादुर शास्त्री नदी तैरकर पार करते थे और स्कूल जाते थे, ये बालक तालाब तैरकर जाता था, मगरमच्छ मारता था और झंडे लगाता था.”
ये कैसा अंधापन है कि न तो खबर की समझ बाकी है और न ही प्रस्तुतिकरण की. इसीलिए चैनल चला रहे हैं क्या क्योंकि किसी बनिए ने पैसे की बोरी खोल दी है. उससे कैमरा और लोग खरीद लिए गए हैं और आप लाइव हैं, कुछ भी हगते हुए. न शब्दों के चयन की समझ है, न संदर्भों के चयन की. यही सिलसिला रहा तो अगली कड़ियों में मोदी स्कूलों में चाचा नेहरू की तरह नज़र आएंगे और स्क्रिप्ट में सफ़दर हाश्मी की कविता कोई प्रोड्यूसर पेल देगा. या पाश और धूमिल जैसे कवियों की कविताओं को फासीवादियों और तानाशाहों के जीवन दर्शन का संदर्भ शब्द बना दिया जाएगा. गुजरात में कांग्रेस की दलाली करने से न चूकने वाले महान और आदर्श पत्रकार ही मोदी की कथा के लिए इतना समय निकलवा रहे हैं. दोपहर से किसी भाजपाई से रिश्ता तय कर रहे होते हैं, शाम यह सत्तासीन सुअरों के यहाँ चर रहे होते हैं. इस घालमेल में न तो पत्रकारिता रह जाती है और न ही उसका दायित्वबोध. कुछ भी कभी भी कहीं भी लिख दो. इधर उधर सर्च मारो. लोहा कीवर्ड टाइप करो. मगरमच्छ टाइप करो. सब मिलाकर कुछ बनाओ और लाइव. ऑन एअर. कल उसने किया था, आज मैंने कर दिया. रिपीट भी करूंगा. पकाने की हद तक दिखाउंगा.
भाजपा के गोवा सम्मेलन की कवरेज का पागलपन यहीं थमता नज़र नहीं आ रहा था. चैनलों की कवरेज का धुआं इस तरह छाया हुआ था जैसे मोदी प्रधानमंत्री बन गए हों और यह उसी की कवरेज और जश्न हो. पार्टी के कई वरिष्ठों के चेहरे मायूस थे पर फैसले के स्वागत में ट्विटर पर हाथ तेज़ थे. पौराणिक कथाओं में अवतार की परंपरा रही है, वैसा ही अवतार गोवा के तट से होता नज़र आ रहा था. मोदी सिर चढ़कर बोल रहे थे. किसके सिर, मीडिया के. और किसी के सिर पर न तो मोदी का भूत सवार है और न ही कोई और इतना पागल हुआ जाता है. मोदी अपने स्तुतिगान से गदगद है. किसी भी तानाशाह को अपनी प्रशंसा से अधिक प्रिय और कुछ नहीं होता. इन्हें भी नहीं है. प्रशंसा, तारीफ़, आतिशबाज़ी जारी है. ये देखिए पटना में बंटे लड्डू, दिल्ली में आडवाणी के घर के सामने प्रदर्शन करने के बाद अब उन्हीं कार्यकर्ताओं द्वारा पार्टी मुख्यालय के सामने आतिशबाज़ी. अहमदाबाद में नाच-गाना, जश्न.
टीवी की अपरिक्वता रह रहकर डराती रहती है. चाहे वो खबर के लिहाज से हो और चाहे धारावाहिकों के लिहाज से. नकलीपन और ग़ैरज़िम्मेदाराना धंधा पुरज़ोर चालू है. इसपर अगर किसी से लाभ दिखे तो स्तुतिगान कथानकों को और अधिक विकृत और पीप भरा बना देता है. मोदी का स्तुतिगान सहज और स्वाभाविक नहीं है, इसके पीछे लार टपकाते संपादक हैं और बिछे हुए मालिक. अपने अन्नदाताओं की इस मुद्रा को देखकर बाकी के शुंभ-निशुंभ भी सजदे में हैं.
लेकिन राजनीति के चौसर में एक नए धारावाहिक की स्क्रिप्ट लिखी जा चुकी है- न आना इस देस मोदी. प्रधानमंत्री तो तुम बनने से रहे. जो जश्न प्रधानमंत्री बनकर मनाना था, अभी से मना लिया है. क्या पता इसके आगे की पटकथा में अपनी ही कौरवसभा में नंगे किए जाओ, मारे जाओ.
और संपादकों, कुछ तो शर्म करो.
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